


Soft But Fierce

by orphan_account



Category: Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Rayrard - Freeform, Squads, as a lot of my stories are...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-08 19:00:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7769392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world is split up into gangs, groups, squads, whatever you want to call them. As soon as you can drive, you join a group of people you stay with for a very long time. Annoyingly long, in fact.</p>
<p>Gerard's little group is the kind of group you should be scared of. Tough guys who take no shit, basically. Most groups fall under this go-to rule, and a lot are complete jerks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pink

Picking at a little piece of fuzz on his sweater, Ray sighed heavily. _They should've been back an hour ago..._ Ray thinks of his little group as his family. With the exclusion of Gerard, of course, since they were dating. But sometimes, he wonders if they think he wouldn't be capable in a fight. He's gone through training, but his exterior isn't as tough as everyone else's. 

Gerard, for example. He's often found in a studded jean jacket with patches all over it, scars on his hands and face, sunglasses, and a confident smirk. Ray doesn't remotely look like he belongs in a group like that. A bright, cotton candy pink sweater, silly wired framed glasses, short curly hair, and some loose fitting jeans aren't really what most people think of when they think of tough and fierce. 

Being in a group with people like that is frightening when you have no clue where they are. On Ray's end, he's worried his people are getting hurt, kidnapped, or worse. However, he can see how it would be stressful on their end as well. They most likely think he wouldn't be strong enough to handle a fight, so if something happened to him while he was at the house, he might end up dead.

_I just wish they'd trust me more..._

~Meanwhile~

Gerard looked around, searching for anymore jumpers. "Alright, I think that's the lot of them. C'mon, let's go home."

He wouldn't have left for so long if those stupid Moons hadn't attacked them at random. Luckily, no one got seriously injured, aside from a few brand new cuts, but nothing to worry about. 

The leader of The Moons coughed, shouting after them, "Yeah, run! We'll find out who you're hiding, Way!"

Gerard rolled his eyes and continued walking, silent. As far as everyone but them and a few close groups knew, Ray didn't exist. While he'd like to keep it that way, he can see how it gets boring to expect "Hold down the fort. Be safe." Every time the team went out.

But, after about three miles of walking, they were finally home. He smiled as Ray slid down from the roof and ran towards them as soon as they came into sight.

"Gerard!" He hugged him tightly, "Are any of you hurt? What happened?! You said you'd be home long ago!"

"We got jumped by The Moons, but, hey, you should see them!" Mikey laughed.

Ray gasped, frowning, "Mikey! That's not good news! Come inside, I have to get the first aid kit!"

As they were checking for anything serious, Gerard shook his head. "Guys, I'm worried. We can't keep Ray a secret forever, can we?"

"Yes," Frank replied stubbornly. "No one has to know! They'll take advantage of us, especially the both of you."

Gerard sighed, "I don't know, he knows how to fight, don't you?" He turned to him, tilting his head. All he did was nod.

"Not physically, emotionally." Mikey interjected, "Like... If they captured him, they'd use your emotional bond with him to get you to do whatever they wanted. When you were done with that, they'd probably just mess with his head more, don't you think?"

"That's true..." 

For a while, all four boys sat in silence. That is, until Ray quietly piped up, "I'm willing to run that risk..." The other three snapped their heads up to look at him, ready to argue, "No, no, hang on, just hear me out... I know I don't really look like you guys, but maybe that's okay. They'll underestimate me, think I'm not much of a threat. So maybe I could use that to my advantage..." He took a breath, "Sorry, that sounds stupid, I know..."

"I don't think it's stupid," Gerard immediately defended. "It could work. You'd make a useful addition to our team, right, guys?" Frank and Mikey both nodded.

~

Later that night, Ray's door creaked open. He flinched and scrambled up, only to see it was Gerard. "Hey, sorry, it's me... Um... Can I sleep with you tonight?" 

"I haven't really been able to sleep, but sure," He whispered, scooting over. He snuggled up next to Gerard as soon as he got in bed, enjoying the warmth of his pale skin. "What happened?"

"I... Nothing," He shook his head quickly. He had an awful habit of dismissing important feelings.

"Gee... Please, tell me." If he refused a second time, Ray usually left him alone, because there are some things people don't like to talk about. This time, though, he did.

Gerard tensed, "I... Kept having nightmares... About you." Ray just lied there, listening to his heartbeat, waiting for him to continue. He swallowed thickly, "You were... They were... t-torturing you, just to mess with me... And when you came home... You weren't yourself... Y-You were just... Empty." He let out a small sound resembling a sob. It was clear in his voice he was crying.

"I'm okay..." He held onto Gerard a little tighter, "I promise I'm right here. I won't let anyone take me away from you guys... Especially not you." 

Gerard squeezed him lightly, sniffling, "Good. Just... Don't let them get to you... I love you, so much."

"I love you too," Ray replied softly. Gerard needed a little time to cool down and heal. Maybe that time was in the morning. So, they both gently drifted off to sleep.


	2. The Trainee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for a graphically depicted panic attack. It's really bad, don't continue if that'll harm you in any way. If you want to skip this chapter because of this, I'll leave a brief summary of what you need to know in the ending notes.

"Ready, Ray?" 

He nodded, already nervous. They were all going to come onto him, as practice, and he was worried he wouldn't be able to fight them off.

"Yeah, yes, I'm ready." They all agreed that there was no holding back until someone said stop. But what if he said stop too soon and they thought he was weak?

Gerard came behind him, pinning his arms behind his back. Ray tried worming out of them quickly, but to no avail. Frank leapt on top of him, arms above his head, and Mikey started to kick lightly at his side. He struggled to free his hands and legs. Once he freed one hand, he attempted to use it to get Frank off of him. However, it was quickly relocated to its previous position.

Even though Mikey's kicks were light, like a little tap, he started to panic. At this rate, he'd have at least two broken ribs by now. In a real fight he wouldn't be able to say stop. This was all going to be fine, right? They wouldn't actually ever let him be hurt this badly. His vision blurred and his breath quickened, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Ray? Ray?? Guys, guys, stop, Ray's gonna pass out of something!" Gerard's voice seemed so far away. His heart was pounding in his ears. He needed out, but his throat was locked. Screaming wasn't an option, he didn't remember how. All that would come out was a soft whimper, so he kept doing that, squeezing his eyes shut.

All of the hands previously firmly on him were lifted. Shakily, tears rolling down his cheeks, he curled up into a tight ball. While his eyes were shut, he felt two strong arms pick him up and lay him on a soft, comfortable surface. Some people in the room left. He didn't want to know who. "Hey, baby, hey, we won't hurt you. Just lie still, okay? Frankie and Mikey left to get us all some water, then we can talk it out when you're better, okay?"

Ray felt sick. His skin was white hot and he was sweating and trembling violently. The voice smoothed back his hair, whispering, "Shh, shh..." and words of encouragement about how he could get through this. His stomach churned as different hands helped him sit up, gently.

"Open your eyes?" A different voice asked. When he did, slowly and hesitantly, he saw that the voice belonged to Mikey, who looked concerned. "Hey you. Drink some water, you'll feel better." 

They sat near him on the couch, waiting for him to be calm. When he was better, taking one shaky breath after another, Gerard rubbed his back slowly. "It's alright," he said, taking the soft fabric of his t-shirt in his hands, "It was your first time training. You'll get better."

He took another sip of water, "Th-Thanks, guys..."

Frank nodded, watching him carefully. "No problem. What was it?"

"I... Well, I thought that I wouldn't be able to tell them to stop in a fight, and if I was alone, no one else would help me. Then I started being irrational, and I couldn't see any of you, so I thought y-you were attacking me and..." He took a deep breath before he continued, "It felt like I couldn't scream. So I just whimpered and hoped you'd stop."

Mikey nodded, thinking long and hard, "Well... Don't be scared to say stop. The reason we're letting you do that is so that you don't feel completely powerless and are able to practice in a safe environment. Understand?"

Ray nodded. "Does this mean I'm weak and not capable enough to be on your team?"

"No, not at all! You're just learning," Gerard was quick to reassure him of this. After they were all done going over that, they just sat around the couch and talked with one another.

~Meanwhile, The Moons' Lair~

Adam sighed, setting his pencil down. He had been ruling out possibilities of who Gerard and his gang had been hiding all afternoon. "I'm stumped."

"Who have you got?" Shelby asked, popping open a soda can.

"Their mother, a hostage from another group, a secret second sibling, or his girlfriend." He shook his head, "The first was obviously a bit of a joke, I don't think they're that kind of gang on the second, weak bastards, probably not the third since Way parades around with the first sibling like he's got a reason to be proud of him, and for the last one, I'm pretty sure he's gay."

"Huh..." The third member, Dexter, thought about this, "You sure on that last one?"

"Positive. He has been since high school," Just like that, a lightbulb went off in the room. Shelby was the first to catch it.

"Hey! Remember that shy, dweeby kid who he drooled over all the time?" 

"Remind me, Way had a type." Adam snorted.

"Dex used to take his stupid Superman undies while he was in the showers and stash them somewhere he wouldn't find until he was late for class, right?" The fourth and final member, Roxy, answered. They all laughed at the humiliating memory.

"Oh, yeah. Don't remember his name, though... Wait a minute. If it's not his girlfriend..."

"Then it's his boyfriend!" Dexter finished.

Adam stood, cracking his knuckles loudly. "Well, guys, looks like we have an itsy bitsy spider to smush under our thumbs."

Roxy stood up, grabbing their bandana, "Yeah? I say we tear its legs off slowly, watch it _squirm_."

Once again, the room was filled with laughter and malicious intent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ray has his first day of training to fight, but panics along the way because he won't be able to say stop in a real fight. Meanwhile, The Moons figure out who they're targeting.


	3. Fearsome

Frank stalked around the base with a sigh. It was his turn to patrol. He had always hated it, since there was never any real action going on. But this time, he was glad it was him and no one else.

Four figures were spotted in the distance, starting near him. "Fuck," he grumbled. As The Moons appeared close enough to him, he became defensive, "What do you want?!"

"Oh? Isn't it obvious? We wanted to see _him_." Adam hummed, an overconfident smirk playing upon his lips. Frank got nervous. They could mean either of the Way brothers, or they could mean...

"Who? Why? Give me the facts!" He growled.

"Fact is," Roxxy stood closer, "We don't know exactly who it is, but whoever you're hiding is a little more than friendly with Gerard, if you know what I mean." They wiggled their eyebrows suggestively.

Frank's heart skipped a beat, "How did you... How do you know about him?"

"None of your business. Now, where is he?" Shelby got close to his face, causing him to shake. 

"I don't... Know... Get away from m-me..." He swallowed hard. 

She stepped back, looking at a window on upstairs, and said, "Is that him?" Just as Frank turned around, the curtain moved and he could've sworn he saw a figure move from the window.

"Whatever. Don't tell us. We have our OWN means of getting what we want. Toodle-oo." With that, Adam and his group stalked away.

He sat there for a moment, processing what had happened. Then, boiling with rage, he stormed inside, slamming the door behind him. Ray, who was informing Gerard and Mikey of the incident, flinched. All eyes were on Frank.

"Ray!" He started towards him, but was held back by the waist by Mikey, "You could've gotten yourself caught! You probably already did! Why would you look out the window while pretty much the most dangerous gang we've ever faced was outside, looking for you?!"

"I was--"

"I don't CARE!" He thundered, "We're trying to protect you! You aren't STRONG enough to handle the outside world!" The room fell into silence, and Frank realized the weight of what he had just said. "I... C'mon, you know I don't..." But he was lost for words.

Ray took a deep breath and let it out, glaring coldly at Frank. "I knew it. You don't believe in me."

"That's not--"

"No. Stop. Just don't pour salt on it. Please. Don't make me hurt more." They all watched in silence as he shrugged past Frank and Mikey to the door, hand on the handle already. "I... I'll show you. But just know that I don't think I could ever trust you again, Frank." With that, he was gone.

Gerard turned to Frank, scowling. "Hope you're happy, Iero!" He stormed upstairs to Ray's room and flopped down on the bed, immediately starting to cry.

~~

Ray wasn't real sure where he was going. All he knew was that he hurt, and he wasn't sure if he had a family anymore. There was a rustle behind him. Thinking it was one of the group members, he walked faster. That's when he was suddenly knocked to the ground by an unknown force and kicked. He got up as soon as he could and staggered away, thinking the person was going to follow him. Instead, there was a call behind him, "Yeah, whatever! Just try goin' home! Betcha somebody'd pick you up before ya got there, cutie! I'd do you a favor by knockin' you out and throwin' you in the desert!"

He rolled his eyes. "Creep." He muttered. After a while, he looked up at the street sign, feeling a stab of panic through his gut. It was Fireroad, the most dangerous street to be on looking the way he did. He looked around him. Clubs, bars, restaurants, and alleyways were all around him. He saw a woman cross the street to get closer to him, looking at him with a sly smirk. This wouldn't end well. The only options were to run, stay put and hope no one would hurt him, or try and slowly slink away, hoping no one would follow.

He tried the last option, but the woman grabbed his wrist, "Oh, no, you won't be doing that. You got a gang to stay with, muffin?"

"I-I... Please let go of me..." He tried desperately. 

She stared him down, "Oh, you're new here, aren't you? Shy kid who desperately wants a clique to stay with. So desperate, he went to a place full of people who would just eat him up, hm?" She blew cigarette smoke in his face, making him cough.

"I-I, actually, m-miss, I was just passing through, I don't want trouble. Please don't kill m-me..." He stumbled over his words, frightened beyond all belief. But before he could say anything else, he was being dragged to a large building full of flashing lights.

He looked around for familiar faces, not too keen on ending up cut up into little tiny pieces or traumatized, but found none. "Don't worry, kid, you'll be fine if you stick with me. At least, if I don't feel like handing you off to one of the guys in this joint."

His throat was dry and his palms were beginning to sweat. She sat him down at a stool and left him there next to some dude he refused to look at. The room around him was spinning out of control, so he lied his head on the counter, hoping no one would talk to him.

"Ray? Is that you?" The voice next to him said. He glanced up, only to see that it was Jimmy, one of their friends. He gasped, "Dude! You're gonna get murdered in a place like this, what are you doing?! C'mon, let's get you out of here!" He took him arm and raced out of the club. "Not to mention, you don't look the least bit threatening!"

"S-So I've heard..." He felt dizzy, like he was going to be sick. Jimmy frowned and drew him close, guiding his way through the street. Soon enough, they were back to the desert where the base was.

"Toro, talk to me," he sat in the sand, the nausea wearing off, "Why are you here? Where's everyone else?"

Once he didn't feel as nauseous, he started to tear up, "U-Uhm... They're all at the base..." He tried blinking them away, "I... I got r-really mad, and ran off, and n-now it's the mi-iddle of the n-night, and I've probably w-worried Gee sick, and...!" His voice started to crack as the tear started coming. 

Jimmy sat on his knees across from him and out a hand on his shoulder, "You've gotta go back... I heard what happened from Kitty, so, well, you know... I know what happened."

He shook his head, "Th-They'll be mad a-at me..."

"They're worried about you! When they hear that you were on Fireroad, in the middle of the night, all alone, in a pastel blue sweater, they might just faint!" He cracked a small smile, "Point is, they're not angry. And you're braver than you seem. Don't let anyone else say otherwise."

"Alright," he sniffed and stood up, "L-Let's go home."

The walk back was short and silent. Jimmy knocked on the door, and Gerard answered right away, "Lookin for this nerd?"

Gerard gasped and flung him into his arms, "Oh my god! You're covered in dirt, and bruises, and little black road smudges, what happened to you?!"

"Found him on Fireroad."

"Fireroad?!" Mikey yelled, "Jimmy, why were you there?! Why was HE there?! He could've--"

"I went for a drink and suddenly he's next to me. I guess he just kinda wandered."

Ray wasn't listening. He had his eyes closed, entirely focused on Gerard and his arms around him comfortingly. He was still a little sore from the guy on the street, and his sweater sleeve had been ripped, but he didn't care.

"Hey," Gerard mumbled to him while Mikey and Jimmy were talking. "Let's go up to bed together, okay? We'll deal with Frank later. You seem tired."

He nodded, and they both went upstairs to Gerard's room. As they were settling in, Ray asked, "So... Gerard? Do you... Do you guys really think I'm weak?"

Gerard wrapped his arms around him, "No! Never. Listen, I know training hasn't been going too well, and I know what Frank said must've hurt pretty bad, but I think you're pretty strong."

"...Really? Why?"

"There are different ways to be strong. You're strong in a mental sense. I know it doesn't feel like it, what with your anxiety, but you're just..." He sighed, almost dreamily, "You're so smart and strategic. Plus, you care about people so much. It's kind of amazing."

"That's sweet..." Ray smiled and snuggled up to him slightly closer, enjoying the warmth.

Gerard hummed, not particularly enjoying the warmth, but more enjoying him, "I know."

Mikey walked in the room to grab a comic book and rolled his eyes, "You two fall asleep so much you could basically just share a room."

They couldn't agree more.


End file.
